


Diary | Hardzello

by Nerxtaylor



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Ben is Boyfriend material, Joe is coma, M/M, ben needs a hug, emotional scenes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:54:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22751326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerxtaylor/pseuds/Nerxtaylor
Summary: Joe's coma does not have good prognoses according to hhis doctors. His mother gives Joe's diary to his boyfriend Ben.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Joe Mazzello
Kudos: 14





	1. Diary Entry One

**Author's Note:**

> I feel so bad for not having inspiration for Frenemies :( So I've decided to pause it and start this Hardzello ff :)
> 
> I hope you like it

Ben shrugged on the chair next to Joe at his hospital room he was watching some random TV channel because his phone have died an hour ago. His friends, and Joe's, have been texting him to go home and leave the hospital for a while, but he always said no. He wanted to be with his boyfriend as much as he could.

Last week he talked to the doctors. The doctors said that they weren't totally optimistic about Joe's state. They said he should have woke up long time ago, but a month and a half later there he was, still in come and on that stupid hospital. Ben and Joe's mum never lost hope, tho. They worked together, never leaving the redhead alone and keeping both eyes on him. Ben always felt awful about Joe's accident. He always thought it was his fault. 

It was dark, at night. Ben had a football game at school and Joe and his friends went to see him. It was an special game because Joe, after two years of wanting, finally got a car for himself and he was excited about celebrating his new car and his boyfriend's victory. He was sure about the last one. 

In the middle of the game some guy from the other school made Ben fall kicking his leg. Ben fell off to the ground with his leg bleeding. When Joe and the others arrived next to him they found Ben reassuring he had felt his bone breaking. Gwil, Allen and Rami took Ben to Joe's car and Joe started to drive to the nearest hospital. They had the accident when they were on their way when a drunk driver didn't stop when he saw Joe's car on the ride. Ben called an ambulance although the car was entirely destroyed. Joe's eyes were shut, and making sure his boyfriend was fine was his priority.

When they got to the hospital Ben didn't let any nurse or doctor to take care of his leg until they worked on Joe. No matter how bad his leg was or how much blood he was losing. He wanted Joe to go first for this. 

A month and a half later, Ben's leg was perfectly fine again. But Joe was still asleep. 

-Ben honey.-Joe's mum appeared into the room and Ben ler go off Joe's hand and got up to give her a hug.-How long have you been here?

-Since yesterday.-He answered.-Im staying here all weekends.

Joe's mum wasn't able to tell him to go home. She tried, lots of times. And here he was. Ben promised he wasn't going to leave Joe the days he was free, and by free he meant weekends, because his parents didn't let him skip school, although Ben didn't want to skip school either. He was sure Joe would wake up before Junior Year end, so he was taking the best notes in class so his boyfriend could study for all the exams he wasn't able to do.

-I was at home, at Joe's bedroom.-Mrs. Mazzello spoke again grabbing something from his purse.-I didn't know if I would be able to step inside again but... I did. And... I found this.

Ben took the item she has already handing him. It was some kind of a book. She told him to open it on the first page, were you could read on a post-it.

_"If something happens to me give this to Ben. Ben, If you already have this, please read."_

Ben looked at his boyfriend's mum and she gave him a weak smile. She patted his shoulder and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She really loved his son's boyfriend, and she thought she couldn't have chosen better. 

-I'll leave you alone with this for a bit.-She said and the blonde boy just nodded. 

Ben was still shocked from what he already read. _"If something happens to me"._ He was shocked about the idea of Joe thinking about the possibility of something like their accident could happen. 

Searching for courage inside him. He started to pass the pages until he arrived to what it seemed a Diary Entry. 

" _Dear Diary,_

_Okay, I'm never saying that again._

_I think I've never felt mor alive than today. It all started when I was studying with the boys (and Lucy) at the library at school. Ben cared to join us later, as usual, but arriving late is part of his personal charm._

_We stayed there for two hours, until everyone started to leave. Ben and I stayed there alone._

_It had been a long time I was crushing on him. Since I met him at Freshman Year, to be specific. And I mean, who wouldn't?_

_The thing is that we were studying and when the library was about to close he told me he didn't feel ready for the exam, so I proposed to study on my house._

_We went to my house and we spent the afternoon making things but study. I always felt comfortable around Ben. We were lying on my bed and laughing about some shit we saw on the phone until I tilted my head to look at him and he did the same. This was the closest we've ever been._

_It seem like a movie, and I'm not joking, because I think my brain was so slow that thought that everything was happening in slow-motion._

_Maybe his brain was working slowly too, so he was moving slowly. But it didn't fucking matter at the moment. He was approaching and approaching until he touched my lips with his, and I can assure you that felt like fucking Heaven._

_Can you say "fucking" and "heaven" on the same sentence?_

_We kissed for hours and I never wanted to stop until Ben's granny phoned him saying the he needed to go home because she had feel downstairs. I asked him if I could go with him. I didn't want to seem desperate, but after those kisses I didn't want to leave his side. He told me not to worry and to stay at home studying._

_«Maybe I'm going to fail, but I won't let you fail too.» He said._

_I went with him to the front door and when he was a to leave he turned around and came in front of me to kiss me again. I didn't see myself but I can tell looked stupid._

_«One for the ride.» Ben said winking me an eye before dissappear through my door._

_I can assure this is one if my favorite days ever._

_23.12.2018"_

Ben smiled at those words. They were written by Joe, there was not doubt about it. That day was one of Ben's favorites too. The day he finally kissed Joe after months of wanting too felt like Heaven, as Joe said on his diary. It was shocking, tho, for Ben to read that Joe had a crush on him since Freshman Year, but it made him smiled nonetheless.

Ben, sat on the chair next to Joe, took one of his boyfriend's hands and kissed it a couple of times. 

-You're going to wake up.-The blonde said with his eyes watering.-You have to, love. You need to weak up.

Ben thought about those words and corrected himself kissing Joe's hand again. 

-I need you to wake up, love. 


	2. Flashback One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Ben's first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter up! I hope you guys like it, I'm already loving it :)
> 
> If you don't understand t'ha structure of this fic it will be a narrative chapter with Ben reading Joe's diary and the following chapter will be about a flashback of Joe's Diary's Entry.
> 
> Comment things so I can see if you like this or not :)
> 
> Love you <3

_**23.12.2018** _

-I don't fucking understand why is _x=n•4/7.-_ Allen said looking at everyone's maths notes.

-Because maths say so.-Lucy laughed.-You're no one to disagree with maths.

-Maths can suck my...

-Hey, hey, hey.-Ben arrived laughing and running cutting Allen off.-Language little Leech.

Joe's eyes shone the moment he looked up and saw Ben finally arriving at his study session. Ben looked back at the redhead and smiled while he was taking a seat next to him.

-Well, look who finally decided to show up.-Rami laughed punching Ben with his pen. Ben laughed taking his things out of his bag.

-I had to help granny with launch, sorry kids.-Said Ben opening his notebook.-Where were you? I'm catching up.

The guys studied for maths changing notes and knowledge, but for Ben maths were hard. They were always hard for him, but now that he was actually late to their study session he was more fucked up.

Joe took advantage when they were doing exercises on their account and got closer to Ben so he could whisper in his ear.

-Hey, you're doing well?-Joe asked looking at Ben's profile. That profile that Joe could look every day, every hour, every minute.

-I'm fucked up.-Ben laughed.-This is impossible for me.

-You'll do great.-Joe assured him.-The test is next week, you have time. You'll be great.

-You have so much faith in me, Joe.-Ben laughed looking at the boy he has been crushing for a while.

-That's good, right?-Joe asked laughing too.-It gives you a motivation to pass the exam.

-Which one?

-Not disappointing me.-Joe smiled and Ben thought he was about to melt down.

-Oh my God, Rami!-Everyone looked at Lucy's scream.-Our families meeting. We're late!

-Oh, fuck my life!-Rami said packing his things.

-Doing the official presentations already?-Gwil asked.-You're serious?

-We wouldn't be risking our friendship if we weren't serious.-Rami said taking Lucy's hand. Joe smiled at the couple and looked at Ben for a little second. He had been wishing for a relationship with Ben since he met him at freshman year.

Joe was the first person that talked to Ben. He was knew and he looked confused on the halls, so Joe stayed by his side all day since it became a routine to be together and being best friends. Just the both of them, until they net the other four. Joe loved his friends, but he always knew his connection with Ben was something special. 

He wished for something wit Ben similar to what Rami and Lucy had been having the past month.

When the couple left, Gwil got up too and apologized to the guys because he had to go home early this time. He was usually the last one to stay along with Joe, but his family were going to visit him and his parents and he had to shower and dress nice for them. 

Allen left too. He didn't have any important appointment to go to. He just was tired of maths and gave up saying that those numbers and letters without any sense were giving him migraine. 

Ben and Joe were now alone. 

-Maybe you want to go home.-Joe said to Ben.-Study session went fail, and library is about to close. 

-I should, I just don't know how I'm going to understand this shit by myself.-Ben said sighting deeply.

-We can go to my house if you want more help for today.-Joe offered with a smile.-My mother is working and I think Mary was at her friend's house for today.

-I don't want to disturb you.-Ben said.

-You never disturb me Ben.-Joe replied patting his shoulder.-You're my best friend.

Those words convinced Ben to keep studying maths at his crush' house.

* * *

Ben and Joe trying to study alone at Joe's house (or Ben's) usually ended up with them doing everything but study.

They had seen a movie, they had started a TV show together, they cooked cookies for snack and now they were lying on Joe's bed laughing at some memes that bumped into their phones.

-I thought we came here to help you study.-Joe said looking at Ben.

-Test is next week, we can study some other day.-Ben said laughing and looking at his best friend with a wide smile.

Joe had to be the most beautiful, adorable and pure person Ben had ever met. Since the moment he approached him on his first day of freshman year in a new school and in a new country he liked Joe. He was a nice guy. At the beginning it was hard for them to catch on each other's accents, but they managed to understand each other. They had a special connection as best friends, but Ben was sure that was because he was in love with Joe. 

Ben sighted for a moment and tilted his head to find Joe looking at him with a smile. The blonde smiled back and Little thought crossed his mind. He shouldn't do it, but his head was already moving slowly towards the redhead. Joe didn't move, just stayed there and waiting for Ben to make a move, that made Ben's stomach to flush. Joe wanted this as much as he wanted to.

When his nose bumped with Joe's he looked at his green eyes with a smile. 

-Are you nervous?-Ben asked his friend. Jow swallowed and made a single little nod with his head.-Don't be.

Ben crushed his lips with Joe's and he felt he was in heaven. He wanted to do this for so long that now that he was actually kissing Jow it seemed like an eternity had passed. 

Joe couldn't be happier. 

Ben made Joe flush and made his stomach feel butterflies since they met. His beautiful eyes, his stunning blonde hair, his cute British accent and his marvelous and unique personality made Joe fall in love instantly with Ben. 

Their lips moved in sync and they smiled a little every time they pushed apart to catch some oxygen, although they connected their lips, almost in sync too, right after they breathed. You couldn't tell if they really did catch air. They weren't sure either, but they didn't care. 

They spent some time kissing, what for them felt like hours until Ben's phone started to sound. He pushed apart from Joe's lips cursing in a whisper and making Joe smile. 

-Hey nana.-Ben said when he took the phone. Joe smiled. He loved the relationship Ben had with his grandmother.-How did you...? No, no, it's fine. I was just... Studying with Joe.

Joe smiled and took Ben's other hand. 

-But are you okay?-Ben asked growing worried.-Okay, call and ambulance anyway. I'll be there in some minutes.

He shoot his phone down and got up from Joe's bed. The redhead imitated the blonde's movements. 

-Is your granny okay?-Joe asked walking downstairs with Ben. They were still holding hands.

-She fell downstairs, I need to go and check on her.-Ben explained passing a hand through his hair.-I'm sorry for leaving you like this.

-No, no. It's fine.-Joe said squeezing Ben's hand affectionately and then let it go.-Your granny needs you. Go with her and keep me updated.

-Sure.-Ben said going to the front door. When he was about to open it he turned around and walked towards Joe. He stopped in front of him and kissed him graving the ginger by his waist. Joe was about to melt down.

Ben was by far the best kisser he ever kissed. 

-One for the ride.-Ben said winking his "friend" an eye before going back to front door and going outside Joe's house. He left Joe with a stupid in-love-face and he guided his fingers to his lips.

That happened. That really happened.

Ben kissed him. He kissed Ben. 

They kissed. 


	3. Diary Entry Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwil comes to see Joe. He can't say the same about Rami and Lucy.

It was Sunday. Ben had slept on the hospital next to Joe, still holding his hands. Ben had a text tomorrow, so he had called Gwil to bring him his things from school so he could study.

Ben had texted his parents when he woke up just to tell them he was okay and Joe was progressing. His mother said he was happy his friend was getting better from his coma.

No, Ben's parents didn't know he was dating Joe. When Ben arrived to New York at freshman year he was leaving with his grandmother. He wanted to study in America so bad, so his parents allowed him to go. When his parents decided they wanted to live here too, Joe was already in coma, and that wasn't the way Ben wanted his parents to meet his boyfriend.

-Hey mate.-Ben looked back and he smiled at Gwil.-How's our warrior doing?

-Fighting as always.-Ben smiled kissing Joe's temple. Gwil put Ben's school bag next to the wall.-Thank you for bringing this.

-You're welcome.-Gwil sat on the other chair next to Joe.

Gwil was the other that thought Joe was going to wake up. He didn't know why, but just as Joe's mother and Ben he had faith in Joe's strength.

-I've talked to... Rami and Lucy. Yesterday.-Ben looked at Gwil.-They... They said they're going to stop visiting Joe. At least everyday.

-Why?-Ben asked almost standing up because of the surprise.-Joe can feel us, I'm sure. If he feels we're here he will wake up sooner.

-They're going to stop because they think it gives you more hope.-Gwil said looking at his friend. Ben got cold at his answer.-You know how they are...

-Fuck them.-Ben said.

-Ben, they're only trying to take care of you.

-I don't need them to take care of me, Gwil, I'm a fucking grown up.-Ben snapped. He sighted.-I prefer not having them here if they think like that. That's not what Joe's mum needs.

Gwil didn't say a thing after that. He knew Ben was always using Joe's mum as an excuse for not listening what he needed to hear. Gwil had faith in Joe, but he also worried about Ben. He thought this situation wasn't the right one for his mental health, and he wanted to help Ben. 

-I hope you don't mind me sleeping, I need to shut my eyes for a bit.-Gwil said.

-It's fine.-Ben replied with a smile again to his friend.

Gwil shut his eyes and when Ben was convinced he was already sleeping he took Joe's diary into his hands. 

He didn't want anyone to see what Joe had written there. Not even his mum opened the diary. Joe wanted that to be something between them and that was the way Ben was going to keep it. 

_"If I have to be honest, I've never felt more nervous about going to school._

_The weekend passed and I didn't have any news From Ben. At the beginning I thought it was because he was taking care of his grandma, but when Sunday came around I started to think it was because he thought our kiss was a mistake._

_Oh, that kiss!_

_I couldn't forget about that kiss. I wanted that for years... I finally got it._

_I don't know why he would regret that moment. The mutual understanding between our mouths and bodies was something I've never experienced before. And it was fantastic._

_The thing is that, when I was going to the street to go to school, he was there. Sitting on the floor writing somebody. He looked up when he heard me closing the door and I saw the water in his eyes._

_We didn't have to say a thing. He got up and we run to each other so I could embrace him tight._

_I didn't know what happened, but we stayed there for minutes like that. Hugging each other and Ben crying and sobbing onto my shoulder._

_We walked to school together, and since we left my house Ben's hand never left mine. I asked him what happened giving him a squeeze._

_«She has cancer» he said. «My grandma has cancer»_

_I couldn't say a thing. Ben's granny was all he had here in America and the most beautiful family relationship I've ever seen. The thought about her dying made my heart sink into my chest._

_The day passed and I've never left Ben, until we had to go to separate classes. However, I got a text from him while I was in chemistry._

_«Come to the bathroom, second floor»_

_I just told the teacher I didn't feel good and I needed to throw up in the bathroom._

_God bless you for what happened in that bathroom._

_26.11.2018"_

Joe smiled at the book. He remembered that day pretty well. It was his favorite day. Or at least one of the best he ever lived. 


	4. Flashback Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Officially together.

**_26.11.2018_ **

Nothing. 

That was what Joe received every time he looked for a notification from Ben at his phone.

Just nothing. 

On Saturday Joe thought he would be taking care of his grandma and he would call anytime he had some free space. Although, by the time Sunday came around, Joe started to think that Ben didn't want to call him for some reason. 

Maybe he thought about the kiss and decided it was a bad idea. 

What if he regretted it?

What would happen to their friendship? 

Ben was the one to lean forward, but Joe knew he shouldn't have followed his movements. He should have stayed in his bed and talked to Ben in a wey they both could understand friendship was the only item they should be. 

-Joe ho ay, you're going to be late!-He heard his mother's scream downstairs and looked at the clock on his wall. Yes, he was going to be late if he didn't leave in that moment.

He was actually dressed and had his school bag ready, but he didn't have time to get anything for breakfast, so he just left his house giving his mum a kiss on the cheek. When he was outside he looked shocked about what he was seeing. 

It was Ben. Sat on the floor. Texting someone. 

Joe never felt more relieved in his life. However, that relief was supplied by worry as soon as he closed the door and Ben looked at him with tears on his eyes.

Joe gir closer to him and Ben stood up. Joe opened his arms and hugged Ben by his shoulders letting him cry onto his shoulders. Joe have known Ben for years, and he never saw him crying. He hated it. It was this just single time, but he hated it.

They spent twenty minutes hugging each other until Ben decided it was time to go home. He seemed more clam after the hug, and Joe was completely happy for that.

On the way to school Ben took Joe's hand into his own and never let Joe go.

-What's wrong?-Joe said and Ben looked at the floor.-It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, you know. I just think...

-My grandmother has cancer.-Ben replied letting Joe without any words.-The doctors don't even know which type.

Joe was silent. He couldn't believe that. In America, Ben only had his grandmother, and his grandmother only had Ben. They had a beautiful relationship and she always treated Joe and the rest of the group amazingly. The thought about her dying made Joe wanted to cry. He did want to tell Ben everything was going to be okay. But Joe knew nothing was going to be okay if he told Joe those empty hopes.

He knew how it felt. Joe had lost his father under fake promises of everyone telling him he was going to be okay. He was devastated when it happened. _Why he's not here anymore if everyone told me he was going to be okay?_ Joe swallowed. He wasn't going to do the same thing to Ben.

Ben only needed Joe to be there for him. So be it. 

(***) 

Surprisingly, they arrived at school in time. 

Joe was so concerned about Ben that he never left his side at school until they had to go to separate classes.

Joe couldn't stop thinking about Ben and his grandmother. He was still shock without could believe it.

Joe's phone vibrated inside his pocket and trying to be concealed he took it out and read the message hiding it.

It was from Ben. 

**Ben:** Come to the bathroom, second floor. _12:43 am._

It would be the first time Joe missed class, but he wasn't going to regret that offer.

-Mister.-Joe called his chemistry teacher.-I don't feel good. I really need to... Throw up. Could I go to the bathroom?

-Go to second floor, so you can go to the nurse if you feel worse.-His professor said after a nod.

Joe got up from his chair taking his things with him. He felt he wasn't going to be back at chemistry. He go upstairs to the second floor and he got inside the bathroom. He called Ben's name.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed his arm into one of the cubicles. Joe was about to scream when he noticed a pair of familiar lips on his. When he remembered Friday, Joe sighted through his nostrils and moved his lips along with Ben's. Ben pulled back laughing.

-You fucking scared me idiot!-Joe said punching Ben's shoulder laughing.-Never do that again Ben, my heart almost stopped working.

-I'm sorry.-Ben sat down on the WC and pulled Joe into his lap.-I just thought we needed to have a chat. After Friday.

-Yes, me too.-Joe smiled caressing Ben's hair.

-I really did want to call you, Joe.-Ben said.-Or better, I really did want to go over your house and talked this face-to-face. But I really wasn't... In the mood.

-I get it.-Joe said.-You had to be with your granny, Ben. Although I thought that you regreted the kiss at some point.

-No, never.-Ben replied instantly.-I've wanted to kiss you for months, Joe. I should've called at least.

-You wanted to kiss me for months, uh?-Joe laughed placing his arms around Ben's neck and giving him a peak. Ben smiled against Joe's lips and placed his hands on the ginger's hipbones.-I wanted to kiss you for so long too...

-That's great, because I'm not going to stop.-Ben said kissing Joe again. Joe returned the kiss smiling between them just as Ben. Joe was finally feeling complete again, like he did on Friday. Ben's hands were placed on Joe's back under his shirt and Joe put Ben closer to him, if that was possible, by his neck.

-You're missing class, responsable boy.-Ben laughed.

-Fuck class.-Joe replied.-Shut up and kiss me.

They kissed some more. They were in Heaven. Thoughts and questions danced inside Ben's head. He wanted to do something else, and now that he has finally kissed Joe, he felt everything was possible.

So he took courage and said it.

-Joe.-He said stopping the kiss for a bit. He placed his forehead against Joe's.-Will you be my boyfriend?

Joe was silent for a moment. He was looking into Ben's green gorgeous eyes. He couldn't believe Ben was really asking that. 

-You're crazy if you think I'm going to say no to that.-Joe said leaning into Ben's lips for another kiss. 


	5. Diary Entry Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rami goes to the hospital. The thing doesn't end up well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter up, sorry for the delay :)

-Hi boy.-Ben looked up from Joe's diary and saw Allen sitting on the other chair.

-What's up?-Ben asked closing the book for a moment, but not less impacient about reading Joe's words.

-Gwil couldn't come today, and you know we don't like to leave you both here alone.-Allen said referring to both Ben and Joe. Ben smiled at his friend and Allen returned the smile.-Do you mind if I go to get a coffee?

-Not at all.-Ben smiled feeling relieved about being able to read his boyfriend's diary.

_"Days have past since Ben and I made our relationship official between us after our kisses. I've been trying to describe my feelings and my relationship, but the only word I've been able to think about it's: perfect. He's the most lovely human I've ever met. I mean, I knew that before, but now it's even better because he's my boyfriend._

_My boyfriend._

_I'm not able to say that word without smiling like an idiot._

_Yesterday was the first day at school we've kissed in public. Ben had everything planned with Gwil. Those incredible bastards..._

_Everyone else was shocked, but excited about it. Lucy even started to set up our future wedding. I wonder if we will be together for that long._

_Ben wants to go out on a date with me. He was thinking about going to the cinema and then having dinner at some restaurant._

_This guy is a dream._

_30.11.2018"_

Ben sobbed reading those words. He remembered that date. Their first date was amazing and full of laughs.

Ben missed Joe terribly. Everyone could tell.

-Hello dude.-Ben closed the book between tears and looked who entered the room. Rami sat down where Allen was before he went to the cafeteria. Ben smiled slightly at his friend.

-Hi.-He just said. Usually, when Ben and Rami where in the same place and they started to talk about Joe the thing ended up in a fight.

Joe was Rami's best friend, and Rami missed him. Rame wanted more than anything seeing Joe wake up one of these days. But he had to think about Ben too. Ben was giving his life to be in the hospital with Joe. Rami was scared and worried, because Ben would broke down if Joe doesn't wake up. Ben was also his friend. And seeing him giving his life for something it might end up being a catastrophe was hurting him.

He knew Ben didn't understand. He knew Ben thought he gave up and was thinking that Joe wasn't going to wake up. He thought that about Lucy too. They were both trying to make Ben understand their intentions, but the blonde was a stubborn.

-How's he doing?-Rami asked looking at Joe. All those machines, cables and tubes keeping his friend alive. Ben caressed Joe's forehead hair.

-He's well.-Ben said and Rami sighted.-What's wrong?

-You cannot see, right?-He promised Lucy he would be soft with Ben, but his concern about him was making him impatient.-Come down from the clouds Ben, he's not fucking well.

-What the hell would you know?-Ben asked back.-You're never here with him.

-Because I'm being more realistic than you!

-Are you saying that I should go home and accept that someday he will fucking day?-Ben asked with his eyes starting to get watered.

-I'm just saying...-Rami calmed himself down for a moment.-You can't let your life depend on this, Ben. There's a chance that he might wake up, yes. But there's a huge possibility that he will never. And you'll need to close the page after that.

Ben look at Rami starting to cry and Rami wanted to go back and be softer with him.

Ben loved Joe. They all knew that. He told him every day he could. Ben's grandma was dying when he started dating Joe, so he was feeling like shit and Joe was his scape to great memories. 

-I don't need to close the page.-Ben said after a while.-Because he's going to wake up.

-Ben...-Rami tried to start again but Ben cut him off.

-Go please.-Ben asked.-Joe needs good vibes in the room.

-I don't want to leave you alone here.

-Allen is at the cafeteria, he'll come back soon.-Ben said again. This time he was no longer looking at Rami.-Please Rami, go away.

Rami looked at his friend in silence and then his sight was locked on Ben's had taking Joe's and caressing it. Rami smiled sadly and left the room without saying anything else. 

When he arrived home and looked at his phone he saw Ben had blocked him on every social media. 

Rami was certain he had lost a friend. And the only way to have him back was having Joe back too. 

Rami never prayed for Joe to wake as much as he started to do since that moment. 


	6. Flashback Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The relationship becomes official.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay :(  
> I'm back at this, I promise :')
> 
> And I'm probably updating "Fault" tomorrow, so check it out on my profile <3

_**30.11.2018** _

Joe was searching for something in his locker. He came school even more early than usual. He wanted to check everything before going to class. He was relaxed until a pair of arms around his waist made him feel even more relaxed and he melted into the hug. He noticed Ben kissing the back of his neck with a smile and, without ripping his arms away of his boyfriend, Joe turned around.

-What are you doing here so early?-Joe asked caressing Ben's cheek.

-Good morning to you too.-Ben rolled his eyes making Joe laugh and kiss him.-Mmh, that's better.

-Can you answer?-Joe raised a brow.

-I wanted to see you before you close yourself up in front of everyone and start with your _"No Ben, not at school"_.-The blonde replied. 

-I know it annoys you, Ben. It annoys me too.-Joe said.

-Then why are we hiding it? Even from our friends, Joe.

-Whatever happens between you and me, Ben, I want it to keep it that way. Between you and me.-Joe explained.-You know how these people are Ben. I don't want to hear rumors about you or us. I want this to go well.

Ben frowned a little bit, never pushing away from his boyfriend. Joe's expression softened. He put his fingers under Ben's chin and looked right at his green beautiful eyes.

-Honey...-Joe has been calling Ben that these past few days they have been together. Ben couldn't resist but smile at the pet-name.-Are we okay?

Ben kissed Joe after a little nod.

-Yes, of course.-Joe kissed his boyfriend's cheek feeling a little bit guilty about this whole situation.

-Shall we go?-Joe asked closing his locker.

-You go, I have to check my locker too.-Ben said giving him a last peak.-See you in class.

Joe didn't even have the chance to say something back. Ben stormed off and went to his locker, which was pretty far away from Joe's.

Ben was upset. He wanted to be with Joe all the time. He wanted that even when they were friends, so now that they were a couple that feeling was getting more stronger. So of course he was upset.

Not with Joe, tho. He could never be upset with Joe.

-Hey mate.-Gwil appeared at Ben's right side. Ben smiled sadly for a moment and Gwil frowned.-Wow, what's wrong? I mean, I know it's Monday, but...

-If I tell you something you promise not to tell anyone, right?-Ben asked looking at his friend.

-Yes, Ben. Sure. But...-Gwil was starting to feel nervous.

-Joe and I are together and he doesn't want to show it in public.-Ben said almost without any pause between words.

Gwil started to process the words his friend had just said. He didn't expect such an information.

-Together like... A couple?-Ben nodded closing his locker.-Wow, that's... Unexpected.

Ben started to walk next to his friend placing his backpack on his shoulder.

-And he doesn't want to tell?

-No.-Ben replied.-Because of rumors.

-Well, you have to admit you two would be at the front page of the school newspaper the same afternoon.-Gwil said and Ben sighted. Gwil knew Ben too well and he knew what that sight meant.-No Ben, you're not overeating.

-It's just... I don't know... I just don't see the point on hiding ourselves, you know?-Ben looked at the floor.

Gwil hated seeing Ben like that. He was already going through a lot because of his granny's cancer and... Well. Gwill though the only thing Ben wanted was to feel alive outside his home, where his grandma was hospitalized on her bed almost unable to do anything.

Gwil wanted to help Ben, but he never had a relationship. There was a girl last year that caught his attention, but she never liked him back. Gwil didn't know how to help someone with a relationship. 

But he knew Ben. And he knew Joe. And he knew how they acted. What they liked. What they preferred. 

-I think I may have an idea.-Gwil said catching Ben's attention.

* * *

It was finally lunch time. 

Ben and Joe didn't have time to talk between classes, so lunch time was their first moment together since morning. The opposite happened between Gwil and Ben. The two best friends had the chance to spend all day together until lunch time. 

Ben explained every detail to Gwil. How he started to like Joe, when they kissed for the first time, when they make it official... Gwil was kinda shocked most of the time. He always noticed some kind of special connection between Joe and Ben, but he never imagined this. He was okay with it, tho. His two best friends were in love and together. Gwil couldn't think about anything better.

When the guys got their food after a long line of students, they approached the table Gwil saw their friends were eating. Gwil sat next to Lucy, and right next to her was Rami. Ben sat next to Allen, leaving an empty space next to him, in front of Gwil, for Joe.

Nobody was talking. Rami, Lucy and Allen were looking right at Ben and the couple were whispering to Gwil, asking if they should say something or not. 

-I know Joe told you, guys.-Ben said.-Yes. My nana has cancer. It's not some kind of tabu it's going to make us die when ewe talk about it. 

-Ben...-Lucy said caressing his friend's hand across the table.-We're so sorry... We just... Didn't know what to say. 

-I know, I know.-Ben said with a smile.-My granny is strong. She's going to get through this. 

-Of course she is.-Allen patted Ben's shoulder. 

-If you need something, you just have to say it.-Rami said and Ben smiled at him. Ben noticed Gwil's eyes looking at him and he pointed with his head behind the blonde. 

Joe was coming. The plan was a go. 

-Hey guys.-Joe said sitting down next to Ben and giving him a beautiful smile.-What were you talking about. 

-Eh... How Ben's granny is going to make through cancer.-Allen said and Joe smiled nodding with his head. 

He didn't want to create false expectations for Ben, but he wanted to support his boyfriend. And If Ben needed to hear his grandmother was going to be okay, that was what Joe was going to believe. 

Gwil, following the plan he had in mind with Ben, made Joe's plastic and empty glass fall from the table. 

-Wow, sorry mate.-Gwil said faking it. Ben slyly smiled and Joe got his glass back into his hand. When he was getting his body up, Ben caught him under guard and kissed him with a playful smile on his lips. Although Joe was aware of the fact that they were at school, resisting to Ben's lips was a challenge for him already. 

Gwil smiled at his friends kissing and smiling like they were the only ones around. Lucy gasped covering his mouth with her hand. Allen spit the water he had on his mouth. Rami was pointing at the couple and trying to formulate a sentence. 

Joe got back to reality and pulled back from Ben looking at his friends. 

-It's not what it looks like.-The redhead said panicking. Ben laughed and Gwil rolled his eyes. 

-You kissed!-Lucy said pointing at them.-Oh my God... YOU KISSED! 

-Okay, maybe it's a bit what it looks like.-Joe admitted hiding his face into his hands for a moment. Ben and Gwil laughed at the same time and made a high five.-You guys planned this? 

-We just thought you needed a little bit of help to make our relationship 100% official.-Ben said biting his apple. Joe hit him on his shoulder.-Aw! Why was that?! 

-You guys are horrible!-Joe said looking at his boyfriend and his friend. 

-Can we go back to main point, please?-Lucy asked rising her hand.-YOU GUYS KISSED! 

-Yeah Lucy, I know, my mouth was there.-Joe said rolling his eyes.

-I've been waiting for this to happen since I knew you!-She screamed capping her hands because of the joy she was feeling inside. 

-Wait a minute...-Allen began. 

-... You knew?-Rami asked and his girlfriend nodded.

-How?-Gwil asked.-I'm Ben's friend and I've never imagined he would ever be into boys. 

-Someone just feels that, guys. C'mon. That connection, those looks... It was kinda obvious.-Lucy said looking at his friends and they were looking at the blonde girl like she was crazy. She sighted in frustration.-These boys... 

-So... Are you guys okay with this?-Joe asked taking Ben's hand into his over the table. Ben smiled at his boyfriend's profile proudly. 

-If I'm not your bridesmaid I'm going to cut your guts.-Lucy said pointing at them. Joe laughed and Ben smiled at her. 

-We're fine with this guys, of course we are!-Allen said winking at Ben with a smile. 

-Why did you think we wouldn't be happy for you?-Rami asked. 

-Ask him.-Ben pointed at Joe with his head. Joe looked at the blonde and hit him on the shoulder again.-Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Just stop hitting me.-Ben kissed Joe's cheek with a smile. 

-I'm so embarrassed...-Joe let out a little laugh.-You owe me one.

-What if I take you out?-Ben asked whispering into his boyfriend ear. 

-I wanna hear!-Lucy complained and Rami caressed her arm trying to calm her down. 

-That would be an offer I wouldn't say no to it.-Joe smiled caressing his boyfriend's hand with his thumb. 


End file.
